for the ovaries that may be reading...

Hi,

I'm three months old.

No big deal.

3 months.

Dear Rainer,

Happy 3 months sweet boy!

I'm sorry you are sick. My mom said it well - "Babies shouldn't be allowed to get sick. It's not fair!" You have the most sad, pathetic cough and your tiny little nose is stuffed up. At night you have trouble sleeping. I wish I could take away all your discomfort. This begins a lifetime of longing to protect you from all that causes pain, but already 3 months into your life, I'm left helpless.

You are such a people person. You always want to be in the center of the action. If we leave you by yourself in a room, even if you are surrounded by toys, you will not have it! As long as someone is sitting by you, talking to you and making eye contact, you will squeal and grin and kick your legs.

You are still a great eater. You are an efficient eater - you like to latch on and get the job done, and move on to other things. If you aren't hungry you won't comfort-nurse.

We've already passed on almost all of your size three month clothes to a friend who had a January baby. You are so big - already wearing six month clothes! You are stinking adorable in your button-up sweater with the elbow pads, and your navy cargo pants with your little 'fake' sneaker/socks.

We still haven't given you any vaccines because every time we go to the clinics they are out of the ones you need. :::sigh::: We have, however, already gotten your Mexican passport, and we have the appointment for your U.S. passport in two days. You are almost ready to be a world traveler, little guy!

Your Nonna is here visiting for 3 weeks. You love falling asleep in her arms and rocking in the recliner. She taught you how to hold a rattle, but mostly you love just sticking your arms up in front of your face and staring at them. It's pretty silly - looking!

We love you so much. I can't believe how fast you are growing & changing. I can't wait to see your personality more and more with time.

Love,

Mommy

mind blowing moments.

Last night my little family, all four of us, were in the bathroom together. Mr. P & Solo had just gotten covered in dirt and chalk while playing outside, and baby Rainer was (still is) congested and in need of a steamy shower. The baby and I breathed in the steam & watched as the big boys scrubbed themselves of the chalk, Mr. P washing Solo's hair and getting him squeaky clean for a new week of school. When he was done we traded kiddos - I gave Mr. P a nakey baby and Solo wrapped himself in the towel in my arms.

As I watched Mr. P delicately clean the baby, I dried off my big 3-year-old and started to cover his soft skin with lotion, comb his hair, and clip his fingernails. I got him dressed in warm, clean pajamas.

All of the sudden, I was overwhelmed with the fact that I am a parent.

I am a mom to these little boys - and they depend on me for everything. Everything.

Sometimes it's the everyday, simple tasks of mothering that take my breath away.

The intricacy of keeping a child - two children - clean, fed, bathed, comfortable and warm is such an overwhelming responsibility, one that I am constantly "doing," yet not often enough pausing to acknowledge.

It's a beautiful thing, this parenting gig. This denial of self; this struggle to develop, grow, nurture, love and cherish another human being while setting aside our own desires. Sometimes I think I'm too selfish to be a mom... in those moments where I lose my patience and I just want to walk away and be alone.

But, it's too late. I'm in it. Everyday I have an opportunity to rise to the challenge - sometimes I fail miserably. But, sometimes, there are those moments - however small they may be - where I am reminded that I am doing this thing. This mom thing ... and I'm doing it well.

Even if it's just putting two boys to bed with their fingernails clipped and their hair washed, tucked in warm beneath the covers.

They are mine and I am theirs.

It blows my mind.

happenings.

Hi, friends!

(lookie! it's me as I type this! Love Photo Booth :)

I can hardly believe almost a week has gone by since logging in here.

My momma flew in on Sunday evening to spend three.whole.weeks with us! Needless to say, we're stoked! And it couldn't have been better timing since Solo has been sick all week, and now baby Rainer has caught it. (Last night I was up probably 15 times with him. I think that calls for TWO cups of coffee today, no?)  This week with both boys home all day & sick would have been all kinds of brutal without my momma here to help.

But also?  In a weird & twisted way I'm happy in my heart because dealing with a sick baby all night and still being able to get up, get dressed, and go out to enjoy my Saturday means I'm well.

I'm really well.

So, there's that to be thankful for. Can I get an amen?

And, since I'm having fun with Photo Booth...

This got checked off the list yesterday...

That there is Rainer Marco's Mexican passport! How adorable is he?!?

Baby boy is going to take his first trip to Oregon this March. He's pretty pumped... as you can see in the photo.

Have a great weekend!

happy monday from baby R!