I know many of you read Katherine's blog Postpartum Progress... but if you don't, or if you haven't popped over to read this post yet, please do it! One of the best posts for new moms I've read in a long time.
I wish I had read it as a new mom to Solo. I experienced all of these emotions, and on top of it the guilt for feeling them. No one told me it was okay. Even normal. I remember sitting at lunch with the family we lived with at the time and looking at everyone with envy. Solo was sleeping in his rocking seat, and I didn't even want to look at him. I felt resentful. I wanted to switch lives with someone at the table. I was literally jealous that they got to sleep and leave the house and go to the movies if they wanted to. Then, of course, I felt awful that I was failing to enjoy motherhood.
I didn't know that many moms don't love the infant stage. I didn't know that it was okay not to. I didn't know that I wasn't alone in my struggles. I didn't know that I did, in fact, love my baby and I would grow to love him more than I ever thought possible.
This time around, with Baby Rainer, it feels so different. I am comfortable to feel whatever emotions I feel. I am confident that what I am doing is fine - is right - is what my baby needs. I know that I was chosen to be his mommy and that he & I are the perfect combination.
If only I believed this the first time.
You are not alone!