wounded.

Here I am about to open up my heart to you. "You" have helped me to process doubts, fears, and challenges. "You" have shared in the joy of all that is my two year old son, the light of our lives. "You" have reassured me that, YES, we can do this again. Whatever happens, we will get through it, and we will be stronger.

I wish these assurances took away all the pain.
I wish these assurances would seep into my psyche with ease.
I wish these assurances would transform the fear that is eating my husband away.

One day at a time.
It is my mantra.

So, here we go, Friday.

Last weekend Mr. P and I had a major breakdown. I suppose the word "explosion" might be more appropriately used here. To put it bluntly, for several frightening seconds I did not recognize the man in my house. He simply lost it. Lost all control. Lost all rationale. Lost touch with reality.

Thankfully, it didn't take long for him to come back to us and realize the deep damage he had done. I am fortunate to have a husband who sees his faults and is deeply wounded by them. I am fortunate that he explores within himself, and wants to make those dark places light. For us.

The road to healing is a long one. I know this. We've been there.

I also know this happened for a reason. To reveal to us which wounds are still bright red and fleshy. To show each other which fears still make our earthly bodies tremble. And tremble we did. And tremble we will continue to do.

This road is not easy. I know this. We've been there.

So, here we go, Friday. The weekend is here. Time for a fresh start. Time to be together, even if our hearts feel stiff and our emotions feel fragile.

We are worth it. I know this.

I love you, Mr. P.
I forgive you.