mind blowing moments.

Last night my little family, all four of us, were in the bathroom together. Mr. P & Solo had just gotten covered in dirt and chalk while playing outside, and baby Rainer was (still is) congested and in need of a steamy shower. The baby and I breathed in the steam & watched as the big boys scrubbed themselves of the chalk, Mr. P washing Solo's hair and getting him squeaky clean for a new week of school. When he was done we traded kiddos - I gave Mr. P a nakey baby and Solo wrapped himself in the towel in my arms.

As I watched Mr. P delicately clean the baby, I dried off my big 3-year-old and started to cover his soft skin with lotion, comb his hair, and clip his fingernails. I got him dressed in warm, clean pajamas.

All of the sudden, I was overwhelmed with the fact that I am a parent.

I am a mom to these little boys - and they depend on me for everything. Everything.

Sometimes it's the everyday, simple tasks of mothering that take my breath away.

The intricacy of keeping a child - two children - clean, fed, bathed, comfortable and warm is such an overwhelming responsibility, one that I am constantly "doing," yet not often enough pausing to acknowledge.

It's a beautiful thing, this parenting gig. This denial of self; this struggle to develop, grow, nurture, love and cherish another human being while setting aside our own desires. Sometimes I think I'm too selfish to be a mom... in those moments where I lose my patience and I just want to walk away and be alone.

But, it's too late. I'm in it. Everyday I have an opportunity to rise to the challenge - sometimes I fail miserably. But, sometimes, there are those moments - however small they may be - where I am reminded that I am doing this thing. This mom thing ... and I'm doing it well.

Even if it's just putting two boys to bed with their fingernails clipped and their hair washed, tucked in warm beneath the covers.

They are mine and I am theirs.

It blows my mind.