This feels awkward, this writing to an imaginary being. But, I just can't seem to get you out of my head. Every time I see a pink tutu pinned on pinterest, or I stumble upon dollhouse designs or mary jane crocs, I think of you. Each time another friend announces they are expecting a baby girl, I genuinely smile for them, but somewhere deep inside, I miss you more.
This is probably the only letter I will ever write to you, and as awkward as it is, I must do it. I have to tell you all the things I've held in my heart for ages. Then I know I have to let you go.
First of all, let's just get this out in the open: tampons are where it's at. The key is in the angle; I know you can do it. Ah yes, I can see you rolling your eyes, but honestly, friends are more important than boys in junior high. So, sit with the girls at lunch, plan slumber parties, go for bike rides after school, do each others' nails. You will have plenty of time for boys when you are older, believe me.
Envy will suck the life out of you. It will rob you of joy and confidence. It's not worth your energy; instead dwell on what you love about yourself.
You are so beautiful. You are perfect just the way you are. I will never stop loving you.
Did you know that you can be anything you want to be? You don't have to be a nurse; you can be a doctor. You don't have to be a receptionist; you can be a lawyer. You don't have to be an assistant; you can be a director. I know all of these are good things, but just remember there is no box that constrains you.
Someday, when you become a mother (if you choose to do so), for a time you will feel like you lost yourself. Allow yourself to grieve if you must. But, don't despair... you will be back... and better than you ever were before. More than anything, children teach us selflessness, sacrifice, and we finally understand that the world is so far beyond ourselves.
In my head I know that having a daughter is so much more than pedicure dates and shopping for prom dresses and planning your wedding. All of those things I will miss, and the dull ache is certainly there. But, in my heart I just want to know what you would look like... would you have my eyes, my freckles? Would you be shy or bold? Would you need braces? Would you go through that awkward tween stage like I did, so unsure of yourself? What would you want to be when you grow up? Because I know you would change the world.
Dear daughter, I have to let you go now. I am happy with my boys, and I will surely teach them with all that I am how to love & respect a lady. And, who knows, maybe someday I will end up with a daughter after all. I'm already looking forward to it.
destined to be a boy mom.